I did a good think for myself, recently

pexels-photo-268533.jpegI had a surge of energy at the turn of the new year. I was so excited to start 2018 without any cancer treatments scheduled, no planned trips to the hospital. I was so ready to just get on with life, and all the things I want to do.

February rolls around (granted, it’s winter) and my energy and enthusiasm has significantly waned. There has been a ton of snow, so many very cold days, still so many appointments to recover my back health, and it has been exhausting.

I find that I am getting stuck in ways I don’t want to be stuck in anymore. I am falling into old ‘cancer’ routines, where I would watch TV for hours simply because I was too tired to do anything else. This is not the case now though. With a bit of planning, I am sure I can accomplish more.

I tend to overwhelm myself with projects I want to do. This, in itself, leads to indecision about what to work on. I am driving myself a bit nuts.

Some of this is recurrent-stress related. I had my 18-month exams this week and while I was totally expecting a ‘normal/unchanged’ result (which I got), it is still nerve-wracking.

I do not want to get stuck in ruts in anymore. The time to do things, really IS now.

So I signed up for a recovery program through Breast Cancer Supportive Care, here in Calgary. It is designed to get you living your fullest life and feel more normal again in many areas that make up the whole person. Our first session seemed really good, and I am looking forward to diving into more of the homework for this week.

I’ll keep you posted as to how it goes.


One day at a time…

…as the old saying goes. How true it is, when trying to recover from cancer treatment.

I’m very lucky to say I am cured of the particular type I had. But it’s also a really frustrating period too. My body desperately needs reconditioning. I know I am going to have to do a lot of physical work in order to get my stamina back.

It is frustrating because I feel ready to dive into this blogging thing and really making a go of working online. I often get sidelined by fatigue, and also overwhelming emotion. You would think I would be joyful most of the time, but I’m finding that that is just not possible.

So I’m trying to relax a bit more again, and take it easy. I will read some helpful magazines. I will do art. I will not beat myself up for not doing the work (yet) that I want to do.

The Next Steps


I am taking my time to figure out what my next steps are.

I am enrolled in a variety of online courses, which I am working through slowly. It is so refreshing to learn something new, and feel excited about implementing the lessons.

I have read all different types of blogs for years and feel pretty comfortable with what I like and don’t like. I think I can do this.

After yet another lay-off from the corporate world, making my dreams a reality is now first and foremost. Mostly I dream of being financially abundant and not have to worry about the state of the company I work for. I want to be able to take care of my family, travel modestly (including visiting family members more regularly) and contribute adequately to the life my partner and I are building together.

After this past year, and being treated for breast cancer, putting a priority on health and reducing my stress is also paramount. My back-to-health plan includes going after what I love doing. Financial security is so important when it comes to major illness. It’s just one less thing you have to worry about at the most difficult time in your life.

It’s time to share what my experience and lessons have been in hopes that I can help someone else. I’m looking forward to the possibilities.

Start where you are.

I have grand plans. I am constantly dreaming of a life where I am following my calling of writing and sharing through those optical fibres that connect me to the Internet. I dream of being responsible for the way I make my living.

When I’m doing something else, and dreaming of these plans, even planning these plans, it seems easy. Actually sitting down and starting, of course, is the hard part. Putting myself out there opens me up (my first thought) to criticism. Getting over that fear is definitely a hurdle. However, I also know that putting myself out there can make it possible for much more positive reinforcement to get in. The right people will find me if I’m sharing what I know and love.

Everything you want, is on the other side of fear.  – Jack Canfield

I have read plenty of books, taken many courses, listened and reflected, listened and reflected, to how I might go about achieving all this. These grand plans.

Well, it’s time to start. Perfection is the killer of so many great things. If we always waited for everything to be perfect before we started, life would pass us by. So I’m starting where I am.

Let’s see where that takes me.